Children and adolescents want to know they matter and are part of something bigger than themselves that matters. They thrive on attention and affirmation. The feeling of mattering drives the play and interaction that children and teens pursue with friends, and can become a pulse they want to feel within the family. Success with friends and family members allows children and adolescents to know they have value that goes deeper than their performance. This value and self-worth is essential for the child or adolescent to invest effort within and beyond the home, especially when they see no material profit in doing so. As every parent or guardian knows, effective effort does not happen automatically. What happens automatically is the daily rush and all manner of words and behaviors that involve conflict and tension between parents and children. Consistent effort by the parent or guardian to provide a child or teen creatively affirming attention is, perhaps, the surest way of assisting them to try, as well.
At Braveability, parents and guardians learn creative approaches to providing the child or adolescent different attention. The smallest attempt by a child or teen to be effective is all the parent needs to begin helping them feel the pulse of truly mattering to the family, and to speak and act accordingly.